In the many conversations I have had over the years, I find the issue of reciprocity to be a divided one believe it or not. I have some friends who are radical about expecting to get out what you put in, and I have other friends who have the view that you keep giving and giving and giving and giving and giving and giving because your moral responsibility and it does not really matter in the end if you get anything in return but you just give without ceasing. The second view concerns me because we have to have a certain level of expectation to expect something back of what we put in be it relationships, or jobs, or opportunities.
We are able to enjoy fruits and vegetables every year without fail because seeds are replanted after the current harvest. If we did not replant(invest) we could not receive (reciprocity). However wouldn’t it be foolish to keep planting into soil and you never receive the fruit of the harvest? Is it wise to keep doing so? I am not talking about giving up after say crop failure one year but I speak of this expectation that year after year after year after year after year to keep planting seed in the same ground that produces no fruit in return. Unfortunately there are those that believe it is when it comes to people. I read in the Bible where Yeshua told the story of a man who had three servants that he gave talents to. He went away on business, and when he came back, he expected to receive of his servants something with what he invested in them (reciprocity) the one who failed to produce, is the one that got punished and the punishment was that what was given to him was taken away and he was CUT OFF. If Yah (God)expects a return on his investment in us, how much more should we expect it from each other for mutual benefit? Some call it self serving, I call it survival!
Where do we get this notion that it’s okay even “noble” to keep essentially betting on a losing horse? That we owe it to each other as human beings to keep foolishly REWARDING FAILURE? I’m not talking about moments of failure (we all stumble) I’m talking about this practice of pouring water through a sieve expecting it to sustain water. Prosperity and productivity only work when there is investment and reciprocity working hand-in-hand, giving and receiving, it is a cycle and you can’t have one without the other. It is not selfish or failure to do your part to STOP betting on a losing horse, a horse that loses every single race it is put in, not a horse that occasionally has a bad run. There is a difference. It is not wrong to look at our relationships professional or personal and ask, “where is the return on what I am investing?”
Gabrielle Union is a beautiful woman and a talented actress who is set to marry to Baller Dwayne Wade a guy divorced with two kids who fathered another child while on “break” from Gabrielle before he “put a ring on it”. So this is another woman she has to deal with which will impact their family finances and family dynamics because she once she marries him his problems become her problems. She will have to deal with his ex-wife, a jump off (side chick/sex toy) , their kids and all this money and time he will have to dole out to keep some form of balance. She really does not need this, but she is selling herself short and it is a shame.
The fact he is a baller does not excuse the fact he is irresponsible, she can do better. There are men who would wife her who do not have all that baggage, Chris Evans (Captain America) being one but she was not interested.
Ladies, STOP SETTLING!! Stop being enamoured with men who “look” good on”paper” but in reality have nothing to give you but PROBLEMS, they are no prize. If you are bringing your A game, then you need a man who is bringing HIS. I know there are those who will respond with “what about irresponsible women?” To that I say men OR women who are bringing their “A” game should not be dealing with men or women who are NOT. If you chose to deal with a person with a whole lot of baggage in the name of doing your part, You have no right to complain when the going gets rough. #kickthemtothecurb2014
I just heard on the news that the high school that inspired the TV show and the movie, “Friday Night Lights”, is under investigation because about five of their teachers have been accused of “inappropriate” behavior with several students the majority of the teachers under investigation are FEMALE and in their early 20s. This seems to be happening a lot more and this is what I cannot understand why are we more outraged when it is a male teacher that sexually takes advantage of a young girl or in many cases a young boy? I do not see the same outrage directed at female teachers and it should be. I mean some people shake their heads a little, but they certainly do not respond with the same intensity as when a man is guilty of it.
Pedophilia is pedophilia and molestation is molestation. Some will argue in this particular case, that there isn’t much of an age difference between the teachers and their students if say the student is 17 and the teacher is 22, the POINT is these young women are in authority positions their job is to teach and instruct not seduce and… well I won’t say it. Women who are very loud about men behaving inappropriately, sexually harassing women and just being in their opinion PIGS are strangely silent when women are behaving in ways that are as EQUALLY as disgusting as their male counterparts.
Why is this behavior not met with the same amount of disgust? If you do not believe that more times than not women get a pass when it comes to this type of behavior one can only look to Mary Kate Letourneau, who after a seven-year stint in prison for having sex with her junior high school student and getting pregnant by him TWICE, gets her wedding to this now 21-year-old young man covered on entertainment tonight a few years ago. If this had been a male teacher there is no way that event would’ve been covered. I am a woman, I love being a woman and my attitude is not against my gender but towards accountability. Pedophiles are not just male they are also female and when these teachers or adults in general cross the line whether it’s a man or woman they need to be held accountable EQUALLY! #equalaccountability
Okay I need to know why I am being treated to these conversations of foolish young women? A coworker of mine was having conversation with another coworker about her personal life. The male coworker asked her if she was married and she said no she wasn’t married but she’s been with her man for 11 years and they have a young son. So the guy asked her if they plan to get married anytime soon and she replies that her man told her that they’re too young to get married and they need to wait a bit and see. But she assured Our coworker that they were tight as a couple.
Ok her relationship is not my business I get this for anyone makes a comment but just saying as an outsider listening in in regards to her man okay let me get this straight you’re too young to get married but you are “old” enough to shack up with her. knock her up , get wife privileges from her cooking cleaning and sex (with her foolish consent of course )but you’re too “young” to get married? You males out there that keep doing this you’re really pissing me off and you need to man up or become a freaking monk and quit playing house. And you foolish women out there that keep doing this to yourselves you are wasting you and your pretty and your time on a man who does not value you enough to put a ring on it when does it end?
A young lady was over sharing on the bus today on her cell phone an interesting conversation. She was complaining about the father of her child. The father of her son was not interested in having a relationship with him. She also said that he had a new girlfriend and was spending all of his time with her and when it came to spending time with his son he always had an excuse. From the way this conversation was going this seems to be a common occurrence with him. It sounds like her baby’s father was always very selfish and self-centered like this which leads me to wonder why did she have a baby with this man?
I know there are some will come to the defense of the girl and talk about how the man just as responsible, we can’t put all the blame on her blah blah blah Here’s the thing, in these scenarios I choose to be a lot harsher on the women because at the end of the day is going to be the woman left holding the bag. It is important that women especially young women (this girl looked to be in her early 20s) choose wisely the man they sleep with and have children with because if they don’t more and more conversations like the one I heard on the bus are going to take place. Nine times out of 10 this man was always self absorbed and self-centered but she probably thought that her love could change him and if they had a baby together it would definitely change him how wrong she was and now she’s bearing the responsibility of raising this child alone because he does not want to be involved in the life of his son and probably never will.
If these young women are sadly determined to try to transform narcissistic males with a baby I would suggest they get their head examined and/or tubes tied instead of bringing another fatherless child into the world. It is not fair to the son or the daughter that will grow up without a father and a mother.
…. And please no stories about that one single mom whose son or daughter went to Harvard for their bachelors Yale for the Masters and Princeton for their PhD and they turned out just fine , those kids are awesome but they’re rare, kids still need both of their parents Yah designed it that way! Both mother and father play a role in shaping what that child will become!